8 Ways to Create Things to Look Forward to Right Now

There are so many aspects of life amid the new coronavirus pandemic now eroding our mental health that I doubt you need me to enumerate them all. But even as I began to think I had a handle on the wide spectrum of emotions I was going through—from grieving normalcy to grappling with loneliness—there was still something I couldn’t pinpoint hanging out in the pit of my stomach. Whatever it was, it was making my depression feel deeper, my anxiety more tightly wound, and my general existential dread heavier, and I couldn’t figure out why.

A few weeks ago I realized what it was: I didn’t have anything to look forward to anymore. The way things are now, the future is uncertain. We’ve lost our ability to plan our lives in big and little ways. Social isolation means there are no happy hours, no birthday parties, no movie dates on the horizon. Events, vacations, career moves, life changes? More or less on hold. Hell, even weekends have lost their power as an end-of-the-week treat with how days are bleeding together into one large blob of sameness.

Limbo isn’t exactly a place for our mental health to thrive. In the absence of being able to look forward to things with certainty, the best we can do is create small pockets of future hope in the meantime. So in case it helps you too, here are just a few ways I’ve been cultivating the feeling of having something to look forward to despite being stuck alone in my apartment for the foreseeable future. They’re not a replacement for the things we lost, but for now they’ll have to do.

1. Put upcoming TV, movie, and book releases on your calendar.

I know the pandemic threw a wrench in a lot of planned programming (is anyone else low-key cranky about the abrupt season finale on Grey’s Anatomy?), but at least with streaming, there’s always a steady stream (haha) of things in the pipeline. Keep an eye on your chosen streaming service’s social media and website (or google “coming soon to Netflix/Hulu/whatever” if you’re lazy like me) to find shows and movies you love so you can start counting the days. The same goes for books you can’t wait to read. If you don’t already have a list going, sites like Goodreads have plenty of user-generated lists of anticipated 2020 releases.

Me, I’ve got May 15 circled because it’s when Avatar: The Last Airbender finally hits Netflix and October 6 earmarked for when I can finally hold The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab in my hands.

2. In fact, put any and all things on the calendar.

I’m finding that sometimes all you need to look forward to something is the reminder that it’s on the horizon. I’ve always been a calendar devotee, whether G-Cal or a bullet journal, and I’ve doubled down on the habit. Anything that stands to bring you a little joy right now—phone calls with loved ones, a new episode of a TV show, your weekly face mask, whatever—put it on the calendar and see if it helps build some much-needed anticipation.

3. Save certain treats or activities for “special” occasions.

Things have gotten a little lawless in this household. Time is basically an illusion, and with the exception of things that get in the way of work, I’ve found that I’m pretty much doing what I want, when I want. In some ways, this is in service of self-care (we’re in the middle of a literal pandemic, I’m not going to beat myself up for eating cookies for breakfast), but in other ways, I’m robbing myself of the enjoyment I get from certain treats by making them commonplace. Kind of like how you can run a song you love into the ground by playing it over and over again.  

In an effort to restore some balance to the universe and savor the pleasure I get from some of my favorite things, I’ve arbitrarily designated some activities and treats For Special Occasions Only. My favorite fancy candle is now for Friday nights. Breakfast for dinner is a Monday occasion. Fancy cocktails are mostly for FaceTime dates so I don’t have to drink alone. Of course, you have to give yourself permission to mess up and break the rules, but it’s the intention that counts.

4. Make your weekends feel like weekends.

If you’re someone who’s made the transition to working from home, your work-life balance probably feels significantly off-kilter. While I do think it’s important to cut yourself some slack and not try to replicate a typical workday from home (for example, I’ll never be the person to recommend you get dressed in businesswear to work from your couch), finding some way to firm up the boundary between the workday and when you’re off the clock is just as crucial. Otherwise, all of your days will bleed together, and your weekends might not feel as restful or rejuvenating as they could. Which means obviously you won’t be looking forward to them. And I don’t know about you, but I really miss looking forward to my weekends.

What that looks like in practice will depend on your situation, but here are a few things that are working for me: I try to log off at around the same time every night. I have “work PJs” and “lounge PJs.” I don’t check my work email over the weekend. Basically, I do what’s still within my power to enforce a typical work-life balance and remind myself it’s extra important now. In the absence of those things, I try to make my weekends extra weekend-y—especially by making Fridays self-care-heavy to kick things off.

5. Focus on something waaay down the line.

I’m someone with a five-year plan and a journal dedicated to mapping out present and future goals and dreams, so you can probably imagine how I’m handling the pandemic as it's ripping certainty away from me. (Not well. Not well at all.) With so many things up in the air—mainly, what on earth will my life and the world look like on the other side of this?—I can’t find comfort in my usual methods.

Instead, I’m focusing on planning my dream vacation. Thinking about travel might seem laughable given everything, but in fact, it’s just ridiculous enough to work. Unlike, say, planning my next book and falling down an anxiety spiral of what will or won’t be relevant in a post-pandemic world, the vacation I’m planning would’ve been a pie-in-the-sky “one day” dream even under the best of circumstances. Knowing that it’s not only the pandemic standing in my way helps me keep my eye on the prize—where the prize is a feeling of low-stakes productivity.

6. Send emails or letters.

You don’t have to find a pen pal or anything (though that’s definitely an option that I love and talked about in this article), but the fun of waiting for an email or a letter from someone is powerful right now. Ask your friends or loved ones if anyone wants to switch things up from your usual texting and swap to writing each other long-form. I’m of the belief that we could always use more positive things in our inboxes anyway.

7. Order yourself something special (mindfully).

I won’t lie, there are a few things to consider when it comes to leaning into online shopping right now. There are decisions to be made around which businesses to support and how to be a conscientious shopper during a time when some people must rely on online shopping for essential goods, not to mention the essential workers involved in packaging and delivering your purchases. All that said, it feels disingenuous to pretend a lot of people aren’t using shopping as a way to give themselves something to look forward to. Ultimately, it’s a personal decision.

Personally, I’m trying not to constantly order a bunch of random sh*t but have decided that the occasional special, intentional purchase is a helpful bright spot in my life. We’re all just doing what we can to get by, you know? When I do order something, I make sure to patronize smaller businesses that I hope to see survive the pandemic. I also have banned impulse purchases so I can pair “fun” things with necessary purchases when possible. I’m not saying this is the right way or even the only way to go about it, but I do encourage you to both think about how you shop and allow yourself small kindnesses and gifts during a rough time.

8. Pick up an engrossing video game, TV show, or book.

Sometimes it really is the little things. I wish I were exaggerating when I said games like Animal Crossing: New Horizons are giving me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. But the truth is, that next tiny bite of joy—whether in the form of seeing what’s new today in Nook’s Cranny or waiting for Redd to show up on my island to help me fill out the art wing of my museum—truly gives me a sense of having something new to look forward to every day.

Animal Crossing might not be your entertainment of choice (and if it’s not, you’re probably sick of hearing about it—sorry!). But there are a ton of options out there. A book with excellent cliff-hangers. A binge-worthy TV show that always makes you want to click “Next Episode.” Anything that, when you put it down for the day, you can’t wait to pick it up tomorrow. Cultivating a sense of curiosity is fundamental to self-care. Now more than ever, we need to feel excited to find out: “What’s next?” And during a time when asking that of the world only leads to anxiety, asking it of entertainment is a quality replacement.



By Anna Borges | Self.com
https://www.self.com/story/things-to-look-forward-to?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=self&utm_mailing=SLF_Daily_050320&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5d00719b2ddf9c11fcbba04f&cndid=17924758&esrc=self_swps_yogascapes&utm_content=A&utm_term=SLF_Daily_GenericOpens